Everybody keeps talking about how great meditation is (guilty!): it has the power to reduce stress, help you focus, feel calmer, and provide mental clarity.

But why does it have to be so damn hard? "Isn't meditation supposed to quiet the mind?"; "Why does it get so loud in my head the moment I sit down and close my eyes?"; "Why can't I meditate?".

These are all fair questions, we've all been there. The truth is that there are many misunderstandings about meditation that cause a lot of dissonance and damage our practice. 

Nobody ever said it was easy! Like any new habit, it can be challenging at the beginning, but you'll get better with practice. So let's explore some of the reasons why meditation is hard.

Misconceptions & Expectations

There is a lot of confusion about what meditation is and what should happen during meditation. Many people think that the purpose of meditation is to silence the mind completely, to not think at all.

And when that doesn't happen, they lose their minds and their motivation. They think "I can't meditate, I'm not good at it." But that's a misguided perception.

The main thing to understand is that meditation means to become familiar with the subconscious thoughts, not to suppress them. You're only there to observe.

We have about 6,000 thoughts each day, so you can rest assured thoughts WILL come, and you can't stop them. What you CAN do is choose where you place your awareness, what you focus on. 

And that's what we do in meditation: we practice focus so we can start becoming masters of our awareness, masters of the mind, instead of being controlled by it. This is one of the real purposes of meditation.

You sit down, and thoughts come. Don't push them away. Allow them to come up, observe them, and then gently bring your awareness back to the object of attention (e.g. the breath). That's the technique, that's the practice. That's all you have to do.

It Takes Effort

I'm not going to sugarcoat it. Yes, meditation does wonders for our well-being, but it's also really hard. Why?

Well, it means doing something we're not used to doing, and the brain doesn't like that. The mind also likes to wander a lot (we spend half the day lost in thought), so the second you stop focusing on something intentionally, the mind goes back to wandering.

When you sit down to meditate and focus, everything in your mind and body will tell you (beg you!) to stop - and it takes a lot of willpower to stay there sitting and focusing. This is why meditation is hard.

When you become still and eliminate distractions, many uncomfortable thoughts and emotions will arise: cravings, desires, aversions, restlessness, boredom, doubt. The mind will travel to the past and to the future. It will become anxious. These are all natural obstacles. 

But here's the thing: When we allow those thoughts and emotions to surface, they stop getting hold of us, they become weaker. In that awareness lies the power of meditation.  

It will always take effort and willpower to sit through uncomfortable emotions, but the practice will get easier over time. So don't give up, don't skip a day. 

"True meditation requires tremendous effort. It is a display of your will over your physical body, over your mind and emotions."

Dandapani

We Don't Know How to Concentrate 

How do you get good at something? How does an olympian athlete, for example, become so good at their sport? Well... they practice. A lot. 

Meditation requires concentration. But we spend a big chunk of the day practising being distracted. No wonder we have trouble meditating.

One of the reasons why meditation is hard is that we don't know how to concentrate. We don't know because we've never been taught how to do it and because we don't practice it enough.

Learning to meditate involves learning to concentrate. And then practicing it a lot. The 20 minutes you sit down for meditation is just one of the instances in which you can and need to practice concentration.

Train your awareness in every moment. Focus your attention on one thing at a time throughout the day. Give your undivided attention to whatever you're doing: eating, working, driving, or having a conversation.

The more you practice concentration, the easier meditation will get.

Not Knowing What to Do

It's logical not to know how to do something if you've never been taught. If you've never meditated, I'd highly advise you to seek a good teacher. It will make a huge difference.

The most important thing to start is to make an appointment with yourself every day and commit to the practice. Pick a spot and show up every day. This is crucial.

There are many different ways to meditate and you might have to try out several until you find the right fit. When you do, stick to it, don't go around shopping for 10 other ways. There is no best way to meditate, you just need to find the one that resonates with and works for you.

You can start small. In the beginning, 1 minute or 5 minutes will do, and then you can increase the time as you gain practice. 

Lack of Consistency 

As we explained above, the body and mind will do their best to convince you not to sit, not to stay, not to show up. This is because your subconscious mind is not trained to do that yet.

The most basic reason why meditation is hard is that you don't practice it enough, which means the habit is not hardwired in your brain yet. You need to show up every day so that the brain starts creating the necessary connections to make it into a habit. Habits feel easy because we do them often.

Everything -including meditation- gets easier with practice and time. If you don't do it often, it will always be hard.

"It takes bravery to meditate. Sitting for meditation involves a willingness to be present for the emotional pain that may surface."

Leah Katz Ph.D.

You Want Immediate Benefits

If you wanted to learn how to play guitar, you wouldn't go to the first class expecting to get out of there a pro player, would you? You know and accept that you're going to have to practice a lot before you can play a song with ease.

Meditation is no different. It takes time, effort, and a quality practice. When you maintain a consistent quality practice, progress will inevitably start to happen.

The problem is people often stop before they see results. I know it's hard to sit through challenging thoughts and emotions. But when those emotions come, that's when you need to stay more than ever - that's where change lies!

And it's precisely when most people quit. The struggles, the reasons why you stop, they're all there to help you get the results you want. Sit through them. The results you seek are on the other side of that discomfort.

At the same time, though, it's not all about getting results. Yes, meditation can do many things for you: it can lower stress, improve your focus and discipline, make you feel calmer. Those are things meditation can do for you.

But meditation is also worth doing for its own sake, for nothing more than to gain awareness of your subconscious mind. Think of it as mind maintenance, if you will. 

When you only do it for the practical results or benefits, when you think there's something to achieve, that's when you're more likely to quit.

You're Too Busy  

Too busy or misguided priorities? 

There's an old Zen adage that says: "You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes every day - unless you're too busy; then you should sit for an hour." 

Nobody denies that you're busy, but the "I don't have time" excuse is just that: an excuse. Plain and simple. We all have 24 hours in a day. The question is: What do you want to make time for?

I'm sure you can carve out five minutes of your day to sit in reflection. Five minutes. Can you spend 5 minutes less on Instagram? Wake up five minutes earlier? 

Do you know how many five-minute segments there are in an hour? Twelve. That means that each hour, you have twelve opportunities to do your meditation. That's 288 opportunities a day.

It's not a matter of time but of priorities. What matters most to you? What are your priorities in life?

Your decisions -conscious or not- reflect what's important to you. As Anne Dillard said, "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." And in a world that refuses to stop, there's something profoundly rebellious about sitting still for a few minutes.

Practice concentration in every moment. Take the practice with you everywhere you go. The more you practice, the more you'll be able to sit there with your breath, to keep your mind present. 

The more you practice this, the more you harness the power of mastering your mind, the more you train your subconscious mind, the more you can choose where your awareness goes. And remember: where awareness goes, energy flows.